For my friend who shall remain nameless, see how ridiculous it all is? Giggle.........
It was a day like any other. She woke 5 minutes before the alarm went off and lay there in bed just waiting for the music to come on. Right on cue a Ramones tune burst into the morning darkness and she swatted at the button to turn it off. I wonder if it will feel weird? Coffee, shower, phone. Nothing. She does the same thing every morning. You can set your watch by her routine, it never changes. Maybe I should text him good morning? See how his day is going? Maybe he will cancel and the nervousness will be all for nothing. Yea, that’s what I’ll do. Text. She makes her lunch, packs her briefcase, makes breakfast. Coffee, coffee, coffee. She makes her way to the closet to consider her wardrobe. She raises the shades in her room and sunlight streams in. She races back to the bathroom to dry her hair but checks her phone first……..
His morning is fine…ooooooookaaaaaaay, now what do I do? OMG! I haven't dated in 20 years! What’s he going to say? What am I going to say? Is this going to be weird? What if he looks at me and says–why the hell did I ever ask this girl out? What if he's changed his mind? I’m just not going to think about it. When in doubt, do nothing.
She ponders....Somehow I don't seem to recall dating being this difficult the first time around.
She dries her hair and wonders if he’ll like it. She considers her outfit. She wonders if he will kiss her. She dreams a little dream…she thinks about their first emails and telephone conversations and how comfortable it all was. Will it be different? Oh dear GOD, will it be awkward?
Back to the mirror. Holy cow will you look at the freakin’ wrinkles on my face? What can he possibly see in this old face? I'm old. I look like hell. I really need to have work done, seriously! I look so tired, I won't be surprised if he turns on his heel and heads straight for the door. I mean honestly, will you look at my face! Who’d want to look at that?! What am I going to wear? Not too conservative, not too “out there” either. OMG I have nothing. This is stupid. It’s a guy for christ’s sake, I’m not on the runway in Paris. Why do I do this? This is ridiculous. He really isnt’ going to care one way or another anyway. Will he? Maybe he will….SHIT!
She finishes her hair and then starts her makeup. She continues with wardrobe consideration…..
Should I wear black? I always wear black. Is black too funeral-like? I kinda like black. I think he likes black. Black makes you look thinner but I think it also makes me look dead. SHIT! He did say he liked women in pastels….Jesus Christ! I look good in purple but I think I’ll wear that new shirt. That’s cool, yea, the new shirt. OK. What do I do with this face? I need a tan.
She returns to the kitchen for coffee. Having completed her wardrobe choices in her head, she races back to her room to gather her clothes. She takes a call from her mother. She gathers her dry-cleaning. Her mind wanders.... should I have bought him a gift? No, no... much too forward. What does he like anyway? OMG I'm going out with a guy and I don't even know what he likes?!! What was I thinking! Will there be a second date? Oh hell, let's get through the first one first. I hate this!
She puts on her coat, gathers the dry-cleaning and heads out to start the car. She puts the dry-cleaning bag in the car, she’ll stop on the way. She races back into the house. She brushes her teeth and checks the mirror…..I look fat. What if he doesnt’ like this outfit? Maybe I’ll keep my coat on. Will this be weird? What if I don’t know what to say? Text from the BFF ”Call me when you can”….oh good, a diversion. She climbs in the car and dials her number. Driving, driving, driving……
“Hi….no, he didn’t cancel….well, yes and no….because I don’t know what he’s going to say…..I have no idea……I’m nervous, it’s been a long time. I have no idea what I'm doing…..I know…..yea…well…you have to negotiate your salary now, it’s your only shot……I have to go, it’s him!”
She rounded the corner of the coffee shop and his car came into view. She wonders what this is going to be like. He sees her and waves. She waves back and as she does she feels the familiar butterflies…… butterflies…. butterflies…..